Still Disgusted.

Something that 

still disgusts me 

is when I remember 

that it was this same

physical being 

who once partook 

in such things. 

I am disgusted that 

I ever let that man 

manipulate me, 

I am disgusted 

that I couldn’t resist 

him touching me, 

I am disgusted that

I was ever generous

and naive enough to

be taken advantage of

in the first place.

I am disgusted 

that he was my first 

and I am disgusted 

by how many others

have to contain

a piece of this

disgusting energy

that makes up such

a resilient part of my

fractured psyche.

I don’t know if I can 

work this into a story, 

but I am disgusted

that the piece I contain

is just large enough

to still disgust me.

I am disgusted that

it still disgusts me

I hope one day

it gets released.

-M_LM (©2024 Melody LeeMarie)