Hate.

Sep 18

Rewrite: 9.19.22*

Do I hate them?

No, I hate me.

I don’t know them well enough

To hate them more than me.

I hate the way I’ve handled things.

I hate that I can’t just let things be.

I hate that even my writing these

Is an attempt at self sabotaging.

I pretend that it’s growth but I know

I’m hoping to choke on the stories I’ve told.

I don’t write these things with them in mind

It’s my demons inside that I can’t seem to hide..

They’ve been wise to keep their distance,

Cause I’m still wondering how I can survive

With these feelings that blind my wise mind.

*Original

Do I hate them?

No, I hate me.

Writing these things

Is self sabotage too.

I pretend that it’s growth

But I’m hoping to choke on the stories I’ve told.

I don’t write these things with them in mind.

It’s my demons inside that I can’t hide..

You’ve been wise to keep your distance.

I don’t know what I’m still doing here.

I don’t know why I can’t stop doing these things.

OCD I guess..that’s my excuse for everything, right..

Aspiring Independent Author and Mental Health Advocate

For Her.