Free (Reflection).

This piece is half reflective and half spontaneous from the moment

Two perspectives of a moment where I finally felt free

This moment wasn’t lasting

But it felt great to finally be alone with me.

Reflection*

I had mistaken the release as anger

I thought it was rage that I’d unearthed

Seeing them living for her

But it wasn’t anger it was freedom

To finally see what I was to them.

To finally see that I did love them more.

Or, at least, differently.

More pure..?

*Original: 9.9.22

I don’t need you anymore

I would’ve thought seeing you with someone else would break me,

but god, I feel so free.

I’m no longer lost in how to best be your toy,

but completely free to live for me.

I won’t factor you into my decisions

Cause I don’t need to hold onto us anymore.

You’re free too, and I’m overjoyed.

I’ve never felt this high before.

No butterflies can compare to the freedom

Of being replaced by someone

You used to think cared,

Now, I know who loved more

Now, I know that I’m worth more

Then I gave myself credit for.

I know what you settled for,

cause all you ever wanted was

someone who loved you first.

I love me first, now that I found myself.

I had to or I’d be dead now.

Find yourself, or don’t, your choice,

I’m free now.

Now, I can let go,

and I can make my way forward.

No more despairing for you.

It’s time to focus on me,

you can focus on you too,

but whatever we do,

I won’t be waiting to be us again, anymore.

Now I’ve moved on, free to love me more.

Free to restore my walls as I like with no obligations to anyone more.

I am finally free.

I didn’t know that I needed to be,

But thank you for setting me free.

I’m not surprised it was you who held the key,

but I didn’t know it would turn by you releasing me,

That through seeing you moving on,

I’d realize that I was always a Queen

Free to make decisions for me.

Only me.

I will no longer try to factor you in.

I am free and so are you.

I set you free too.

I am so fucking happy rn.

Wow, I finally feel free.

-M_LM (©2022 Melody LeeMarie)

*This was an enriching moment, but not the end of the line, heartbreak takes a long time to unpack every perspective; See Narcissist.